Shark Night 3D – Movie Review

Shark Night 3D

Plot: A weekend at a lake house in the Louisiana Gulf turns into a nightmare for seven vacationers as they are subjected to fresh-water shark attacks.

My Thoughts: I had such high hopes for this movie, I had heard chatter about this movie a while back and was so excited! Then I heard that it was going to be in 3D, a little less excited but hey it’s all good! Then that the cast was nobody special, still could be great! Then, the biggest drop of all, PG-13? Really? It should be a requirement for every shark movie to be rated R at this point, that is what makes shark movies popular in the first place, watching all of the blood and gore, and seeing these people get ripped apart. As bad as that sounds, that is human nature and that is why we watch these movies. Now I did not see this movie in 3D, maybe if I did  I would have a second  thought about this movie and find it quite good, so I am going to write this review solely on the basis of watching it normal.

Spoiler alert: Next paragraph

The movie was entertaining to say the least, but I was hoping for a little more than entertaining. As shark movie’s go, the general consensus is that it will be thrilling too right? Well this movie was not thrilling in the least, the movie was so matter-of-fact. It was just like they bullet pointed a bunch of plot lines and they unfolded simply like that, without much of a transition in between. In one scene the boat fly’s off into a pier (Which was laughable to begin with). Now for the biggest problem I saw with it, when the unnamed character’s arm get’s bitten off, and the lead jumps into the water to get the arm back, I was laughing out loud because there was no possible way he could find it that easily. I’m sorry it was for entertainment but that was honestly just idiotic and stupid.

My final complaint about the movie was the CGI, Jaw’s came out in the 70’s, Shark Night came out in 2011, these sharks looked so incredibly fake, I felt like I was watching Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus again.

I’ll stand up for the movie a little bit because even though the movie itself was not the most written film of the year, but to satisfy the younger generation and get them intrigued (Which gives reason for the PG-13) it was entertaining, it was off the beaten path and it did have some cool moments.

Now this part doesn’t have to do much with the movie but I need to go on a rant, I will not name this person but I do have to make a few comments about this review of the film.

This movie is just as irresponsible as the horrible “torture porn” seen in recent years. In this movie, we are still subjected to the most malevolent of human behavior, but they use sharks instead of saws, cages and bondage. And make damn sure we mutilate young adults while they are barely dressed so we can become aroused by the beauty of the human body and then become horrified at the dismemberment. It never ceases to amaze me what incredibly horrific visions today’s young filmmakers can dream up. Even more pathetic, someone is paying them to do it. When the audience finally says “no I won’t watch this tasteless, senseless waste of talent and money,” perhaps they will stop making it.

Not likely, unfortunately.

“This movie is just as irresponsible as the horrible “torture porn” seen in recent years.” Let me start off by accepting the fact some people may not like the torture porn genre, personally, I love it, so me and you are destined to not get along in the first place. The torture porn is not irresponsible, it has led to some achievements in film-making, some you may not like, but in a sea of movies that have become boring, torture porn has made films interesting again, showed directors it’s okay to show your wild side.

“In this movie, we are still subjected to the most malevolent of human behavior, but they use sharks instead of saws, cages and bondage.” Not once did I see anyone dressed in all leather or have a ball-gag in their mouth. Bondage, yes involves rope tying to, but I didn’t see much of that either. Malevolent human behavior? Like sending someone into the lake where there are sharks? Didn’t you know what this movie was about before you went and spent 11 dollars on a movie ticket?

“And make damn sure we mutilate young adults while they are barely dressed so we can become aroused by the beauty of the human body and then become horrified at the dismemberment. It never ceases to amaze me what incredibly horrific visions today’s young filmmakers can dream up.” Yes, you have a point here, but seriously? That’s what makes good film-making, when you can make a strong transition and make a turn for the worst, granted this movie doesn’t show that but you make it seem like a generalized statement that all movies that involve nudity and violence are bad because one second we could be watching someone kiss or run around scantily clad, and then be killed a second later. That last line really kills me because I like the horrific visions these film-makers come up with, because if I see another rom-com where someone ditches a guy for someone else and then comes back to the original guy, I will gouge my eyes out.

” Even more pathetic, someone is paying them to do it. When the audience finally says “no I won’t watch this tasteless, senseless waste of talent and money,” perhaps they will stop making it.” Sorry my friend, it is just a sign of the times.

Enough of that review, I give this movie a 2 out of 5, I found a few spots where I was pleased, but overall I kept asking myself when to give up hope this movie will turn around.

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2 thoughts on “Shark Night 3D – Movie Review

  1. Pingback: Movie blog » Shark Night 3D – Movie Review « Mr Movie Fiend's Movie Blog

  2. Pingback: movie-blog − Shark Night 3D – Movie Review « Mr Movie Fiend's Movie Blog

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